Human Sexuality is Complicated...


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In which Hank takes on a topic he's been afraid to cover for a while now. How should we talk about sexuality, what is the difference between sex and gender...and between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. It's very interesting...and I think understanding it is a key to decreasing the amount of hate and self-hate out there. HERE ARE A LOT OF LINKS TO NERDFIGHTASTIC THINGS: Shirts and Stuff: />Hank's Music: />John's Books: /> ====================== Hank's Twitter: />Hank's Facebook: />Hank's tumblr: /> John's Twitter: />John's Facebook: />John's tumblr: /> ====================== Other Channels Crash Course: />SciShow: />Gaming: />VidCon: />Hank's Channel: />Truth or Fail: /> ====================== Nerdfighteria /> /> /> /> A Bunny (\(\ ( - -) ((') (')



Jensen-Marie Spear
This video was so ahead of its time!
zayrixx fxx
why have gender roles when u can have cinnamon rolls
Tapiokapuddin
My school's GSA used this video to explain sexuality
Peyton Sorrells
I'm not feminine. I'm not masculine. I'm just me
Fellanoween
This was litteraly the most accurant and easiest explanation I've heard on the subject. Though - it covers sexuality AND sex/gender. Sexuality and sex have nothing to do with one another.
Puregengar
Dude this video is in a science museum in amsterdam
Mariah Wallflower
This needs to be spread like wildfire
HeapOfBones
I don't know why it took me two and a half years to find this video, but now I have.  Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Maybe now I'll be able to understand what the hell is happening inside my brain and/or other relevant organs. One day. Thank you.
PunMasterPatton
I live in a shiny box, but not a square one. My box is a multicolored dodecahedron.
C/\GE \/ICK
I do my best to understand the whole gender thing. It just seems that the whole idea is to include everybody (which is good) by creating countless labels and identities. Wouldn't it just make more sense to kind of disparage the whole social construct of what makes a man a man and what makes a woman a woman? Oppose the system as a whole
Nictator
You know what would be easier than arguing about which pronouns people should refer to others as, or creating dozens of new ones? Adopting a-gendered pronouns. There are tons of languages that only have one third person pronoun. For example, Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian, Turkish, and Armenian all have genderless pronouns where the word for "he" and the word for "she" are the same word. Using that system in English would be much easier than trying to invent a dozen new pronouns. It would also eliminate all confusion.
Danny Dibnah
Crash Course: LGBTQ+
Echoes
It is appreciative of Hank to mention "romantic orientation" because I know individuals who are females but strongly desire intimate relationships with other females (where physical relationship sonot play a role at all).It is normal for a person to yearn for attention from other people of same sex but a non sexual one though.
Hope Siegel
I'm so glad he included asexuality. :D
Abby Dawn
tfw within 4 minutes of watching a vlogbrothers video you learn more than you do on a daily basis at school
Incidental Penguin
Someone's gender identification or sexual orientation are none of your business. When I say that, I mean let other people sort their stuff out how they like, and unless they broach the subject, respect their boundaries and leave it alone. I have seen random shoppers in malls and fellow movie-goers in theaters demand androgynous-appearing people identify their gender, or harass trans-gendered people for not wearing the "right" clothes, or freaking out because "oh my gracious they're being gay in public!"  Shut up and let people be what they are. They aren't hurting anyone. 
Emily Richard
Thank you for acknowledging the existence of asexual people. We are left out of videos like this way too much.
Tanis Please Send Help
I don't know why but this made me cry tears of joy.
Emily
Genuine question: Doesn't saying that you can mentally identify with a gender promote gender stereotyping by saying that certain feelings or attributes are male and others are female? Don't we all just have our physical sex and then we are who we are regardless of if others believe it "seems feminine" or "seems masculine"?
Jerry Of All Trades
Well that was a change from the whole, "stop being a special snowflake" bs I'm used to hearing
Andie Cavanaugh
These guys are like an injection of knowledge.
David Bakhash
I like this guy.
DaaaahWhoosh
I really don't like how complex these things are getting. Like, I understand that 'male' and 'female' don't work, but then do we really need to build all these systems? I don't care what you identify as unless I either want to have sex with you or don't want to have sex with you. That means I should be able to be close friends with anyone without knowing any of their sex/gender/pronoun preferences. At the end of the day, these definitions just seem like more and more ways to categorize people right before you start treating them differently.
Ryan Clark
Finally!!!!! Someone articulate enough that even the simplest of minds should grasp! This is pure genius! Thank you for this!
Sydney T. Harris
I did an air pump when he mentioned asexuality :)
woodfur00
Hank Green, I love you.
Dean
The biggest problem with this entire thing is that gender is essentially a made up idea that has no basis in reality. Being a man or a woman is defined by the sex, not by "how you feel". Gender is essentially a made up term created for people who deviate from what they feel are the average or stereotypical forms that a man or woman takes. This is why the language can be confusing because the reasoning in it is fallacious. Let's just say, for example, that men are naturally stronger and less emotional than women (whether that is true or not is not the point, but let's just say it is). Then if I am a weaker and more emotional person with a penis, this does not make me any less of a man because the definition of "man" is what is between my legs, not how I think a man should be. Gender identity is essentially the systematic admission that that stereotypical or average personality traits define what you should identify as. When in fact, it should be perfectly fine for society to have a a wide range of males and females with varying personalities that don't feel the need to identify as something other than where their sex has placed them because they do not adhere to the strict cultural definitions. This is the true path to acceptance, and until this fallacious form of reason is corrected in academia there will be no equality or acceptance.
PopNotes
everywhere I look I see special snowflakes it's just a pure sea of white
Zara Grainger
Asexual high-five! (whoo we were mentioned!)
Tyler McDermott
Im a robot trapped in a humans body who is attracted to sponges
Andrew Field
It's nice to see Hank throw some info about asexuals here. Having more representation than none at all can be pretty great.
drz
I wish priests were celibate >:(
N. Fer. Ⓥ
Yayyyy!! You mentioned us ace ppl!! And don't forget about all the aros🙂
Hetachia Momonoke
You should make a video about polygamy....(polygyny/polyandry/group marriage/monogamy) and your....view points on it.
Gyndemia
THIS IS... I don't have works to explain how accurate this is. Need to show parents asap.
Zach Charlie
i literally had to slow the speed down 50% at 3:07 to follow along
lily athena
So I was just thinking... John dies in some horrible way and Hank, tearfully, ends the video with "John, I'll see you on Tue.... Oh." And just shuts off the camera
MetaKnight964
Personality/character is complicated, not sexuality.
achapterahead
Im crying because he included nonbinary and a lot of people just skip over it or don't believe in it and it warms my heart because its so easy to get stuck in the thought cycle of the world doesnt think you exist. Its just nice to be validated. Especially by someone with such a strong voice (meaning speaking out about these things to a considerably large following)
SparklyBanana13
Thank you so much for this video! It's very descriptive and eye-opening. I'm also glad to hear it from you since people tend to dismiss such gender/sex/identity intricacies as imaginative ramblings from Tumblr when this is a reality for everyone around. Humans are so wonderfully complex and interesting.
Dadoo-Dattoo
I just can't understand it how some people are so against labels, yet describe themselves with as many labels as possible like: Panromantic bisexual feminine demitransboy-genderfluid foxkin.
Bulay Says Hi
Doing some research here.. I'm looking for some sources from some sociologists or.. other more or less "qualified" people who have conducted studies.. outside of tumblr. Any resources?
Orca
panromantic asexual trigender <3
Hailey Mitchell
This. This is what I needed.
Manibe
3:23 You should do a video explaining gender fluidity better. There are not many people who are that way, but they certainly need much help and support.
TheLegendaryFusion
I wish this was shown in schools. Under 4 minutes and people could become a lot less ignorant and a lot more accepting and cooperative.
Boris
Having the ability to shove my hand into somebodies pants and be satisfied with whatever I find is always nice.
D S
Nice description of how tumblr thinks we should see each other, but I'm just going to stick with eight categories recognized by science: male, female, intersex, transgender FTM & trangender MTF, heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. That's it. Anything beyond that, and you're free to use the category, but I'm free to completely ignore it and you're not going to make me feel bad for doing so.
Jade Eliot
I'm watching this video again because my sexuality is shifting, and my sexual expression is starting to differ from my romantic orientation. Thank you again, Hank, for making this video so that people can begin to understand the infinite possibilities to being human.
Alexandra Park
For those of you in the comments section here who do not understand the need to make up new words for gender/sexual/romantic orientations, let me explain. The need to make new words goes along with the fact that people like to put themselves under labels. It helps them feel like at least someone understands how they feel. Like how they feel and identify is a real thing. There are people who are going to identify and act against social norms and gender roles, and there's really not much you can do about it, other than respect their decision and act accordingly. For myself, I could identify as genderfluid, gray-asexual, and demi-bi-romantic, and feel so nice having a little box to put myself in, but when other people here new words that they don't understand, they get confused/scared/or angry, so, to make it simple, I could say I'm ace and aro. It all goes along with how the person feels. Personally, I think this video is a great, simplistic way of explaining this topic.
Don'tWatchTheWorldBURN
I don't know why, but I'm taking notes on this video. Actual notes like in school.
thes7274473
I think we should just remove gender, and by extension gendered pronouns, gender roles, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia. No such thing as a man or woman, just different combinations of the components of biological male and female. Sexual orientation would mean nothing more than what combinations of private parts you prefer in your sexual or romantic partners. Transgender just means you want different bits from what you were born with.
Samuel Hamblin
Am I, a transgender man, actually going to dare read these comments? Yes.
PieMoe
...I sexually identify as an attack helicopter.
extremelyhappysimmer
im glad i watched this cus it helped me understand or rather express myself better in terms of my sexuality. I sometimes say im bi because im a girl who is sexually attracted to both women and men but i cant have an emotional and romantic attachment to a woman the way i can to a man. so my sexual orientation is bi but my romantic orientation is straight. ive had trouble explaining that to ppl in the past so i might just refer ppl to this video in the future.
Fang Jiunn Ewe
Thank you for the "strength of identification" axis! It's always so useful to have around because people keep forgetting that other people are allowed to identify strongly with something they don't and vice versa
God
This video was so left-wing Beyonce almost started playing.
Madeline Bartel
**grabs popcorn** **scrolls down**
Skye ID
WOW! I am sooo glad that Hank addressed this topic! I was skeptical when I read the title of this video, but I'm glad that he did it in a  non-offensive manner.
Noah Golden
I'm a heterosexual male but I identify as a purple zebra.
Billy Mays
Facts gathered from tumblr.
Magalí IB
that was an awesome way to put it
randomtrucks
This is beautiful. This should be taught in schools.
HarleyGrace VA
This. This man is the definition of an ally. He is a stright cis white man (as he said in the beginning of the video) but he just respects and supports everybody and is still learning and thats ok.
gingergamergirl98
I love Hank infinitely more now :)
Jazzmango
This all makes sense to me except for one thing. What is the difference between a boy and a girl or a man and a woman? Like I've always just called myself a woman since that's what society said I was, but I just realized I could just as well be a man. Like I get that there are feminine and masculine qualities, but since people that call themselves men can also have supposedly feminine qualities and vice versa, what determines if you are a man or a woman? Is there even a difference? Like calling myself a man from now on would literally change nothing or have any effect. I'd just be subtracting a "w" and an "o" from the word woman. Does gender even exist or is it just a word?
Siddhant Goyal
Please tell me some of the people that have commented are not nerdfighters!
TheNewbiedoodle
"I am a straight white male who doesn't have to deal with a lot of the hate" Right then, I noticed the unicorn in the background. I figure that, even if you did, you could not care less.
Emma Whaley
Thank you so much fir the graph! It helped me realize that intensity of a gender is a thing and that I can be nonbinary but kind of womany but not really feel it that much
30 james
Why did he mention his race and sexuality in the beginning? His opinion isn't less credible because of this, I hate it when people do that. When white people, and males, hear that it damages their self esteem. I'm not trying to victimize white people, cause it's true lots of other races are discriminated against more often, but I'm not willing to say that their opinions are less credible. I know this is not what Hank meant to do, but it's something that we all need to work on a little more
edd1EroxPwDblah
"Let me acknowledge that I'm a straight white man", code talk for "I hate myself"
Em Woods
i realize that this is almost exactly five years late and it's not likely hank or john will read this, but i wanted to say thanks. i use this video when i have to come out (particularly to older family members) because it explains gender/sexuality as a spectrum better than i can articulate sometimes. of course attitudes have changed, we've learned new things in the last five years alone, but still. at the end of showing this to someone, i usually then say "and it's EVEN MORE complicated than that, but you get the idea." anything beyond gay or straight is a new concept to some people, i appreciate how this video breaks it down efficiently and in a way that doesn't condescend to a viewer who might not know uch about the subject. so thanks again. (also, my grandmother asked me to email this link to her so she could show her friends, "the fast-talking guy, i like him")
mikayla
I sexually identify as a brass door knob handle.
Peregrination
I was fascinated how when I joined an asexual community, all of a sudden I was learning dozens of interpretations of of the things Hank talks about here. The community wasn't limited to just asexuality. I had a hard time understanding some of the gender discussions. I blame my upbringing for this because I basically grew up in a nongendered environment--my friends and family judged and acted on an individual level instead of classifications. Whenever my school classes discussed gender roles it was in the context of history. I actually thought we were beyond gender roles in the developed world until my friends got older and went from having a distinct set of interests and tomboyish behavior to being typical teen girls. As adults they've regained some of their independent interests, but they subscribe to our society's expectations of feminine behavior. So comparing them to me, who's neutral, and to transgender, I sort of understand the gender spectrum. I still have the philosophy that people are who they are though. It's too easy to overlook important qualities and project assumed qualities based on umbrella terms.
George Heiler
I love this contradiction. You spent a few seconds saying that (in the brain portion) people can be attracted to one gender or another or both. Then you state at the end that all gender roles are societal constructs and arbitrary. So is the society helping or is it not? Because it has created roles which apparently people are attracted to, but at the same time these roles are actually meaningless and it is in reality a scale (your opinion)? So aren't you quite insensitive for saying that people can be attracted in the mind portion to men or women or both, because then you are subscribing to societies gender rols? News: all of this video and this topic is mostly bullshit and a waste of time.
Emily B
"I'm a a straight white man, who doesn't have to worry about hate...." Someone has clearly not been on Tumblr or met a SJW
Xalder
I identify quite weakly as male, and mainly because of my biological sex and gender roles I fit into. If I woke up with opposite body parts, I wouldn't overly mind, but I think my identity as leaning towards male would stay the same because of the gender roles thing. I would absolutely love to have androgynous facial features and just go as gender-fluid, but I also like having a beard so... if I had a choice it would be tough, but I'd probably just stick with what I know. Things are easier that way.
pretty-little-birdie
I know someone who fits Hank's description at 3:17 :D
Rafaella
another reason why I love Hank
DMW Texas
What happened to objective facts hank? I thought u said those were uncompromisable. How one feels doesn't change what one is
Abhilash S
I don't think anyone's explained it better
Rafaella
another reason why I love hank
Louisa Twain
Let me began by saying even though this is a old video I just stumbled upon while traversing through a youtube black hole. I was mesmerized your explanation was imperfect as something that complicated naturally would be but by far the best i've heard. I read the comments down to a point and I use to be angry with people who said some of the closeminded and often cruel things they said but now I merely feel sorry that they can never understand the complexities of human life of love, and sex, and self awareness. I don't understand these things will either but that is okay because I am open to attempting to learn and grow and see the contrasting views and maybe someday speak my opnions of them aloud beyond the margins of a youtube comment which no one will bother to read. So here it is If i fall in love I will fall no matter what gender, or sex, ect. they identify as it is not important to me. What is important is there personality, generosity, ability to sympathize and so many other factors that make up a human being. As for the sex stuff I'm not really sure having little experience but I will find it out as I go along. This is my view it doesn't have to be yours. You may never truly completely understand anothers view of the world and that is perfectly fine. You aren't them. If you are comfortable with who you are then be it. If you are not then think about it evaluate why? And when you are in a situation were you feel truly safe admit even if its to yourself or a trusted confidante. And I just needed to say or rather write that. Srry about grammar and spelling.
sagerainwillow
Quite honestly, I don't give a damn. Be who you are. I'll be who I am. And let's just coexist peacefully.
Jessica m
lmao. "sometimes these things change hour to hour". what if you changed your sex hour to hour and had surgery every hour😂😂😂😂
Mikael Johansson
Thank you Hank. You are gold!!! This is the sharpest and clearest explanation of these subjekts I've ever seen!!
BookLions United
I'm glad that it's ok for me the be a biracial bisexual female in this great community. It is absolutely FANTASTIC that my pansexual and genderfluid best friend is also accepted. Moments like this restore my faith in humanity.
Morgan Z.
I still cannot believe that this was posted in 2012. It's 2018 and some people *still* don't understand this.
zlivalavida
u confused me at the end a bit
Callidus
I truly think the problem is that people are associating gender and sex with their personalities. You were right Hank in your saying that there would need to be infinite gender 'boxes' but then you turned around and made a damn chart... It is true that sex is biological, and gender is cultural, but gender is EXACTLY cultural. meaning you still for the most part don't just decide to be one or the other. Gender is the role you fill, whether you sought it out or were pushed into it. I.e at the heart of things, stay at home dads are filling the feminine gender role in society. But that's not really the case is it? Rather such gender roles have dissociated with their original meanings and began melding together. So from that point of view they are completely irreverent. Switching it should not make a lick of difference, unless you just like the pronoun or something.... Even without that, matching your identity with one of the two little boxes isn't going to help you. Making one up won't do you any better then simply changing your name. For some people that can be a lot more impact full then the hassle of trying to get everyone to cohere to your made up gender... So because of those thing I would have to say: don't bother with the boxes at all, be eccentric, be out of the norm. I for one won't judge you, and everyone else won't judge you any more then they would. Just DON'T GO CRAZY WITH THE GOD DAMN BOXES!!! also as a side note: if you are unconformable in your body that is something you will likely have to work out for your self and changing your pronoun around won't help you. It's like a fat person trying to get out of being unconformable with his shape by saying hes not fat. It's a bad analogy, as you can change your weight but the point still stands. Rather one should learn to accept who they are in body as you do only ever get one. That comes from within the self, not from the out side. Tl;dr: Remove the whole gender thing, it's stupid, unnecessary, and over complicated. Sex can adopt the pronouns, (unless you really just like the other one).
ZeonTwilight
This has been my favorite video in the #proudtobe tag this year.
G M
I'm happy because I feel like someone in the world understands me and would actually take the time to know me rather than instantly judge me by my gender and sexuality.
Katie Ruud
Ugh, you guys are so wonderful. :)
ddjdhdbt
i watched this in NEMO with my mum and it sparked a conversation and helped me come out to her so thanks i guess
Ashtarte
Good on Hank for making this video. Even within the LGBT community, which I'm a part of, I still get sideways glances sometimes when I explain that I am transgender, and going through transistion, but I am still bisexual. I'm still attracted to both sexes, but as a gender, I've always been feminine and felt like a women in a mans body, which I'm now going through hormone therapy to fix.
Non Profane Language
Everyone should watch this, especially in schools
britt234997
hank was straight up so damn woke even 5 years ago
Captain Franco
Thanks dude, I hope all this becomes common knowledge in the near future.
slim sadie
Heteroromantic heterosexual cisgender woman here :) This video is really helpful! Hopefully I can now properly understand how my LGBTQQPI2SA+ friends identify themselves as, without utterly embarrassing myself. Growing up in an east-Texan conservative Bible-belt town, I was never properly educated in this multi-faceted community. Though I am straight and was raised amongst very close-minded and old fashioned people, I accept and love everyone for who they are.
Chris Passmore
If you replace gender roles with gender expression, this is a Gender Bread Person! It's a very popular tool used by the gender therapists at my college and it's my favorite thing ever!!